


Thunder clouds and Jesus' fear

by NovemberWings



Series: Desus Drabbles [11]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angry Daryl, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Jesus needs a hug, M/M, Panic Attack, Sad Daryl, Scared of Thunder, Scared of lightning, Slow Burn, Upset Daryl, flinching, scared Jesus, thunder storm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-31
Updated: 2016-08-31
Packaged: 2018-08-12 06:48:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7924729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NovemberWings/pseuds/NovemberWings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daryl and Jesus get stuck in the forest over night, Daryl is angry and isn't noticing Jesus' little ticks and a thunder storm starts, making Jesus fall into a panic attack and afraid to disturb an angry Daryl. And although the night is stressful they would both go through it again, because it led to something special.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thunder clouds and Jesus' fear

Daryl was stomping through the forest, not being as careful as he normally was, breaking twigs and rustling leaves. Not giving a shit. 

A few paces behind his Jesus followed him, tensed up knowing that if Daryl was a balloon he was about to pop with one false move. He would never admit it but he was a little afraid of Daryl sometimes, although deep down Jesus knew he was a good person; he could occasionally be a loose cannon and he really didn’t want to be on the end of the violence when he finally went off.

But now he was alone in the forest, and he knew he could run or fight back but he wasn’t 100% that Daryl wouldn’t shoot him in the leg with his crossbow. He knew the man didn’t like him and he was holding a grudge from that Goddamn truck.

The reason they were actually in the forest was because Rick had told them to go on a run for supplies and they had gone quite far. The car had run out of gas and Daryl blamed Jesus for that because he hadn’t screwed the lid of the canteen with the petrol in on properly and it had spilt now they had to walk back or find a new car; to say the least Daryl was pissed.

They kept walking and walking; eventually the sky turned dark and the sun sunk, making the sky a burnt orange colour although the air was moist and had a little electricity in it, as if it were about to rain and thunder. They were still walking and Daryl suddenly stopped pulling up the crossbow toward Paul and Paul had tensed and flinched a little thinking the arrow was for him but it flew past his head to hit a squirrel on a tree.

Daryl stalked past him, bumping his shoulder as he did to get to the squirrel. As he did that a few drops of light feather rain started falling and Jesus tensed up hoping that what he thought was about to happen wasn’t going to happen. 

“We’re stoppin’ here, make youself comfortable.” Daryl grunted, clearly still not happy and Jesus didn’t like the idea of sleeping in the forest if there was going to be a thunder storm, he was afraid inside but outside in a thunder storm wasn’t even worth think about.  
“Why don’t we find an apartment or something? Or a barn, or even just a car? I think it might rain.” He spoke carefully, looking up at the sky, equally afraid of Daryl and the oncoming threat of a storm.

That was the first thing he had said in three hours, he didn’t want to push his luck being alone with a very pissed of Daryl, even though banter was he favourite thing in the world, and he did love teasing the man, thinking he looked quite cute when he was flustered.  
When he looked back down at Daryl he saw him sitting on the ground with a knife in his hand about to skin the squirrel, but Daryl was staring at him with a look of unconcealed pure rage.

Daryl stood and marched towards him with the knife still in his hand. Paul backed up into the tree nearest, but Daryl continued until he was almost on top of Jesus and pointed the knife at his Paul’s face.  
“Who the fuck do you think you are?” He asked rage in every word. Jesus stayed quiet knowing it was his best option right now. “You’re too stupid to screw a lid on a damn jug an’ you think you can order me around? You have another fucking thing comin’, Rovia.” Jesus winced slightly at the way Daryl had said his name, all three syllables dripped with absolute hatred. “We’re not goin’ anywhere, we’re gonna sit here, in the forest, eat this fucking squirrel, an’ take watch. Sit your ass down, afore I make ya.” He said shoving Jesus to the floor before turning and continued skinning the squirrel.

After the squirrel had been eaten the night slowly darkened, with the full moon allowing sight, and it started to rain harder, making Jesus shiver. Daryl had gone to sleep and it was his watch, then suddenly out of nowhere a flash of light illuminated the forest followed by a deep rumble. 

Jesus tensed, he hated this fear it was so irrational, and he had never been outside during one before, making this experience worse. If he woke Daryl he would be pissed and would possible attack him, hurt him. He couldn’t stop the tears running down his face, he wished that they hadn’t made a makeshift roof then he could say that the tears were rain. 

Jesus covered his mouth to hide a sob and then another light flashed, he was happy for the hand that slightly muffled his gasping scream. He started to physically jolt as he sobbed so hard, he was terrified.

Then something horrible happened, he felt a panic attack coming on.  
Not now, please not now. He would wake Daryl. He’d be pissed, he’d tell everyone. He’d hurt him. He’d hate him more. He didn’t want that. He wanted Daryl to like him back, but that would never happen. Maybe Daryl hated him because he was gay. Shit, what if he was homophobic. He would kill him. He will kill him if he wakes up, what if he knew that Jesus liked him? What if he was planning on hurting him. What if he was barely holding back and this would push him to lead to hurting him. 

All the thoughts that were circling his head didn’t help, in fact they made his panic attack grow stronger, causing him the start gasping and hyperventilating as the thunder got worse and more frequent. 

Jesus knew he was going into full out panic attack. Daryl started to stir and sat up.  
He had woken him.

He looked at Jesus, and he was shivering and hyperventilating. Daryl now also went on high alert- looking for a threat, pulling out his knife.  
“N-no please. I-I’m sorry.” Tears streamed down Paul’s face and Daryl knew they were tears not rain drops. Daryl started to move towards him to help with the problem, but if anything Jesus panicked more.  
“Jesus, what’s wrong? Is there a threat?” Daryl asked, Jesus just shook his head but kept hyperventilating and panicking.  
“P-please don’t. I’m s-sorry. I a-am, p-please don’t. Please” He spoke through hyperventilated gasps with a voice made tight with panic.  
“Don’t what?” Daryl asked genuinely confused and then he noticed that Jesus was staring at his knife with wide eyes. Daryl quickly put the knife away out of Jesus’ sight and he noticed that Jesus’ sobbed subsided a little all though they were still gut wrenching, and he was still jerking with each sob. Jesus broke down into really hard sobs into his hand, coving his mouth;  
“P-please don’t h-hurt me.” Jesus broke down and Daryl froze feeling a chill going down his spine. Jesus was afraid of him and God wasn’t that the worst feeling in the world?

Daryl raised his hands in a calm gesture, noticing Jesus flinch a little, but he tried to ignore it and the feeling of his stomach dropping.  
“Okay, Paul,” He spoke using Jesus’ real name, hoping to calm him down, “I’m not gonna hurt ya, but you need ta calm down. You’re gonna hurt yourself with the way you’re breathin’.” 

Jesus nodded agreeing, his eyes wide, making a visible effort to calm down. The rain thundered down as Jesus tried to control himself and his panic. His breathing was starting to slow slightly and then a flash of lightning followed by a rumble ruined the progresses. Making him panic more than he had before.

As Daryl watched his eyes widened in realisation, his mind flicking back to the conversation before. In hindsight he had handled everything wrong. He got into Paul’s space and pointed a goddamn knife in his when all the man was trying to do was get away from two things he was scared of, Daryl and thunder. If he had paid more attention he would have gotten the message that Jesus refused to say plainly.

Wow, Daryl Dixon, you’re a special kind of fucked up.

Suddenly, Daryl caught on. Jesus asked if they could get into shelter so he wouldn’t be outside during a thunder storm. Daryl had shouted at him, making Jesus think that he was violent, angry and hated him. So when the thunder storm started Jesus had worked himself into a panic attack and was going to get through it on his own, Daryl woke up and freaked him out even more worsening the panic attack further. 

“Okay, Paul.” He spoke gently watching tears fall from his eyes that were tightly closed. Jesus had his knees drawn up to his chest with his hands over his mouth stifling sobs. He looked broken, he was terrified, and it hurt Daryl that he had a part of putting that look on his face. “I’m gonna come ova and sit with ya while it thunders, okay?” Jesus opened his eyes and looked into Daryl’s, his eyes were full of fear and panic.

He quickly started shaking his head, no.  
“Please,” He sobbed out, “I’ll b-be quiet. I-I’m sorry. You c-can sleep, you d-don’t have to. I’ll b-be quiet, d-don’t.”  
“No, Paul. No.” Daryl hastily reassured, “I’m not comin’ ova to hurt ya, I won’t hurt ya, I’m comin’ ova jus’ ta sit with ya.” Without waiting for reassurance, he crawled over to Paul, seeing him tense up. He kneeled in front of Jesus. “Not gonna hurt ya, remember?” He spoked gently.

Jesus gently shook his head, but Daryl took no noticed even though his heart sunk and broke at the same time as he watched Jesus cower, cringe and sob in front of him. He gently took Jesus’ shoulders, feeling him jerk in reaction, and pulled him forward slightly and moved behind him so he could lean against the tree, pulling Jesus into a hug, crossing his arms across Jesus’ chest gently.

Jesus was so tense all his muscles started to ache, he was shaking from the massive amount of fear radiating through him.

Daryl started making non sense sounds, shushing him gently.  
“I know ya don’t believe me when I say I’m not gonna hurt ya, so lemme show ya.” Daryl whispered into his ear, causing Jesus to shiver at his hot breath on his ear, but unknown to Daryl that wasn’t because of fear. Jesus liked being this close to Daryl but he really wished it was under better circumstances. 

“I-I’m sorry.” Jesus spoke, his breaths slowing down a lot with Daryl holding and reassuring him.

“Don’t be, nothin’ ta apologise for.” Daryl said back, glad that Jesus was calming. Jesus could feel Daryl’s voice rumble through his chest and it was calming.

“I k-know it’s silly t-to be a-afraid of it.” Jesus said waiting for Daryl to agree and call him a coward.  
“Naw, it’s not silly. Everyone’s afraid a somethin’, even if it’s without reason, it dunt mean it’s unimportant.” He paused for a moment, feeling Jesus shake but his hyperventilating had stopped. After a few minutes Daryl spoke up again, “Are ya okay? You’ve look like you’ve calmed down.”  
“Yes, I’m better, thank you.” But as Jesus spoke he tensed up a little, and Daryl felt it.  
“What’s ta matta? Ya just tensed up.”  
Jesus didn’t answer with words but grabbed onto Daryl’s hands across his chest, holding them tight, the message was clear, although unspoken; please don’t leave me alone. The thunder clouds were starting to subside and Jesus felt his muscles relax a little more, but he was worried about the response from Daryl.  
“I ain’t goin’ anywhere. Don’t worry ya pretty lil’ head.” Daryl let out a content sigh and he pressed a kiss to the back of Jesus’ head gently, not really knowing why he did it but having no regrets about the action.

After about an hour and a half Jesus’ body lost all tension, and he started letting out quiet huffs through a barely open mouth, and Daryl realised he had fallen asleep. His heart swelled, it was quite cute, though he would never admit that thought, and he was glad because it meant that Jesus trusted him enough to let his guard down enough to sleep. A few times in his sleep Jesus said his name, but not in a scared nightmare way, more of a loving nice way. It made him happy. 

He really did like the man, and he didn’t hate him, he just didn’t know how to show his emotions towards him. Dixon men aren’t fags. His dad had beat that one into him, and he just didn’t know how this situation worked, never had experienced anything like it even with a girl. He didn’t know if his feels would be returned or mocked so he acted horribly towards him, hoping that it would keep Jesus away from him so the feelings would go, but that hadn’t worked because his feelings were persistent little bastards and Jesus never left him alone, until yesterday, where he was terrified out of him mind.

Three hours later the sun rose and Jesus started to stir and Daryl felt a thin smile on his lips as Jesus got his bearings. He looked from side to side, then seemed to realise he was being held and looked up to see Daryl smiling at him. Jesus let a little smile on his face although the happiness didn’t reach his eyes like normal.

“Hey.” Daryl said gently, “Are you feeling better?”  
“Yes, much better. Thank you.” Jesus paused for a second before continuing, “Sorry about waking you last night, and sorry for falling asleep on you, I get tired after panic attacks.”  
“Hey nothin’ to be sorry for. Come on we should get movin’.” Daryl said and gave Jesus a little gentle push and Jesus got up, they packed their bags and made their way through the dripping woods.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

They mostly walked in silence, which disappointed the Dixon, but he didn’t know how to initiate conversation.  
“D-Daryl,” Jesus spoke slightly carefully, his face glowing a little red, “thank you very much for last night.”  
“S’alright.” Daryl replied with little else to say.  
“I would really appreciate if you didn’t, you know, tell anybody…” He said gently, slightly scared of Daryl’s response.  
“Naw, I won’t. Ain’t nobody’s business but ours.” And Jesus felt much better after that.

They continued walking in silence for a bit, before Daryl’s mind had finally had enough and he needed to ask.  
“Jesus?” He questioned, and Jesus looked at him, “Are you scared of me?” He was a worried about the response. When he spoke the question Jesus stopped walking and just stared at him, so he stopped walking as well.  
“No,” Jesus spoke as if he were about to tread on broken glass, “I’m not afraid of you ALL the time. It’s just when we’re alone and you’re angry.” He paused looking for words, unknowingly breaking Daryl’s heart. “I know you don’t like me and I know you’re a good man, but I also know I can be annoying and I don’t know 100% that you’re not going to attack me.”  
“I don’t get it, you can sorta match me in a fight. You can defend yourself. And I’d come to my senses quickly.”

Jesus then looked at the ground and scuffed his shoe a little.  
“But the problem is I wouldn’t fight back, even if you were breaking my bones.” He mumbled but Daryl still caught it.  
“Why in tha hell not?” He asked confused, he knew Jesus wasn’t above violence if he had to use it.  
“Because I l-like you.” He took a deep breath, “A lot. I like you a lot. And I don’t wanna hurt a man I l-like.” As he spoke the words both Jesus and Daryl felt a little sick. Jesus because he was scared of Daryl’s reaction, he planned to do it in Alexadrea where people would help him if there was a fight. And Daryl felt sick because he could finally be with the man.

“I like ya too, Jesus.” He said a little worried about admitting his feelings aloud.  
“No, Daryl, I like you as in I want to be your b-boyfriend.” He stuttered on the last word, always cautious of using that word around people in the apocalypse.  
“Jesus, that’s wha I meant.” Daryl clarified.

Then Jesus did something he didn’t expect, he looked at the ground and started talking almost to the ground but the words were directed at him.  
“Please don’t do that, please. Don’t make fun of my feelings. I never meant to tell you at all, please don’t be that cruel.”

Daryl’s heart broke a little as he realised at how little Jesus thought of himself that Daryl wouldn’t be able to like him back. He realised he was going to have to show him, and although he was nervous he would rather have his first time with someone he truly cares about and knows rather than a skank. 

He took a step forward and saw Jesus flinch and clench his jaw, readying himself for an attack.  
“No, Paul, look at me.” Paul looked up and saw Daryl standing very closed. Daryl brought his hands up very slowly to Paul’s face seeing him tense a little in anticipation. He held onto his chin and lightly pressed his lips to Jesus’ lips.

Jesus responded after a few seconds putting his arms around Daryl, and deepening the kiss and Daryl bit Jesus’ lip and Jesus opened his mouth for him.

They stood in the forest for a few minutes kissing before Jesus pulled away, worrying Daryl, thinking he had done something wrong.  
“We should get back,” He said, “the others will be worrying.” Jesus smiled a little before cheekily adding “I knew you would be a good kisser, Daryl Dixon.” And Daryl smiled in response.  
“Is tha what you were dreamin’ about last night?” Daryl chuckled seeing the look that ran over Jesus’ face.  
“Oh god, how did you know I was-“ He broke off, looking at Daryl the tips of his ears burning.  
“You said my name in your sleep.” And with that Jesus turned into a tomato.  
“Did I say anything else?” He asked embarrassed.  
“Naw, jus’ my name.” Daryl laughed as he let out a relieved breath.  
“Thank god.” Jesus muttered. 

Daryl put his arm around Jesus and they continued walking and Daryl couldn’t help but let himself feel happy. And both he and Jesus were glad that Jesus was idiot enough to not screw the cap on properly.


End file.
